Decompress and heal after the tumult

George the dog resting on my legs as I watch the single vice presidential debate this year. Credit: Gerald Farinas.

Millions of people woke up after Election Night with feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, even depression.

It’s only natural to feel this way after putting so much energy into a single candidate or issue—and feel like you’ve lost.

We posted a Sandra Boynton cartoon with a giant heart and the words, “Don’t lose heart,” on the Happy to be a Presbyterian Facebook group.

The response: “Too late.”

Mental health is so important—especially when you’re a pastor, or elder, or deacon who’s supposed to be able to hold it together in tough times—and offer comfort.

With the tumult of the world and anxieties stoked like noxious burning rubber tires, we need to take a moment to decompress and heal.

Mister Rogers got it right

First things first…

In my work with dementia care, I teach the importance of validation.

You can’t lie through your feelings. You have to acknowledge what you’re feeling.

Remember that it’s okay to feel however you’re feeling and that healing is a process.

If you’re feeling angry, you have to express it.

If you’re feeling sad, cry.

If you ache, the ache is real.

Fred Rogers taught us a song about validating feelings and how we react to them, “What do you do with the mad that you feel?”

What do you do with the mad that you feel
When you feel so mad you could bite?
When the whole wide world seems oh, so wrong...
And nothing you do seems very right?

What do you do? Do you punch a bag?
Do you pound some clay or some dough?
Do you round up friends for a game of tag?
Or see how fast you go?

It's great to be able to stop
When you've planned a thing that's wrong,
And be able to do something else instead
And think this song:

I can stop when I want to
Can stop when I wish
I can stop, stop, stop any time.
And what a good feeling to feel like this
And know that the feeling is really mine.
Know that there's something deep inside
That helps us become what we can.
For a girl can be someday a woman
And a boy can be someday a man.

If you forgot how the song goes, look it up on YouTube. You’ll be glad you did.

Now that you’ve validated your feelings… let’s find ways to react:

Ground yourself in nature

Spending time outside can be incredibly grounding and cleansing. Go for a walk, breathe in fresh air, and reconnect with the natural world to feel a sense of renewal and balance.

The Rev. John Lionberger is a United Church of Christ minister who founded a ministry called Renewal in the Wilderness. He even wrote a book about it.

There is great healing in remembering our roots in nature—the Creation of God—and experience that connection by being in it. Nature is the grandest of cathedrals!

Practice mindful meditation

Try a meditation focused on acceptance and letting go. Visualize releasing feelings of disappointment or frustration with each breath out and invite peace and resilience with each breath in.

I have a favorite spot on the lakefront in front of Madonna Della Strada, a Jesuit chapel, where I just sit and listen to the waves. I’ll feel my breaths and heartbeat begin to match the rhythm of the lake water lapping on the boulders.

Engage in rituals for release

Many find it helpful to write down their feelings—grief, anger, or sadness—then safely burn or bury the paper as a symbolic way to let go and make space for new energy.

There’s an old Jewish tradition of putting all your anxiety into crumbs of bread and throwing them into the water for the fish and birds to eat. Though, we’re now told that feeding bread to ducks isn’t very healthy. But you get the gist of the ritual.

Focus on gratitude and small wins

Take time to reflect on the positive aspects of your experience this campaign season, like meaningful conversations, new insights, or personal growth. Acknowledging what you’re grateful for can help shift your focus toward positivity and hope.

Connect with like-minded community

Reach out to friends or support groups who may feel similarly. Sometimes, sharing your feelings and encouraging each other to keep going can be very healing.

Guess what? Your church is a place to find this.

Nurture your body and mind

This can be a perfect time to prioritize rest, nutritious food, and gentle movement. Caring for your physical self supports your emotional healing.

You cannot do what we’re supposed to do next—advocate and fight for what is right—if you’re not healthy enough to put energy into it.

Recommit to your personal values

Reflect on what you stand for beyond any one election or outcome.

Reconnecting with the bigger picture can help restore a sense of purpose and calm, even in the face of disappointment.

Maybe you should write your core values down so you can see it. Recommit to them.

You know your values. This is your Truth. Hold on to them. Your Truth is your heart.

With time, the intensity of these emotions will pass.