Apostles for domestic abuse victims? Survivor Elaine says you can help

Domestic violence crosses all boundaries of race, religion, economic status, gender and gender identity, sexual orientation, and age.

It is not only a tragic reality but an urgent crisis, often hidden behind closed doors, yet impacting millions of lives worldwide—and thousands in our own communities.

In recent years, faith communities have taken a more active stance in supporting victims and advocating for an end to this pandemic of violence. But more churches should get into it.

Within this movement, survivors like Elaine Sutherland, who was shot by an abuser and survived, serve as profound examples of resilience and hope.

Elaine Sutherland is a miracle

I met Elaine as she was performing her duties as an election judge for our precinct.

She has difficulty speaking because her jaw and teeth had to be replaced after being shot nine times—thrice in the head—by her husband almost 20 years ago.

Elaine has a master’s degree and worked as a drug and alcohol counselor. Her husband stole that all away from her after he walked into their home, throwing on the lights to a blinding glare, and fired several times.

It took grueling pain, massive doses of meds meant for the worst of bodily traumas, and intensive therapy to survive.

But she didn’t let her new situation devolve into misery. She forced her way back out of that hospital bed with two people on her mind—her son and daughter.

Elaine’s motherhood became her inspiration, backed up with a declaration that became a prayer: “God isn’t done with me yet.”

She left me with one impression after talking to her in our church hallway: Elaine is a walking miracle.

Where are the apostles against domestic violence?

Elaine’s story reminds us of the urgent need for the faith communities—Presbyterian communities—to unite in raising awareness, providing support, and championing legislation in Springfield, Ill. and statehouses around the country, to protect vulnerable women and men  from domestic violence.

Instead of letting her harrowing experience define her, Elaine has become a vocal advocate against domestic violence.

Her story is a powerful reminder that survivors carry immense strength—and with the support of congregations, they can rebuild their lives and help others facing similar challenges.

Elaine’s journey highlights the critical need for places of worship to be places of refuge, support, and healing for victims of domestic violence.

Her resilience shows us that survivors of domestic violence should not bear the burden alone; they need a community that stands alongside them, lifting them in prayer, offering resources, and advocating for systemic change.

It’s a Presbyterian issue

For Presbyterians, the issue of domestic violence calls for more than compassion—it calls for action.

Our faith urges us to stand up for justice, to support the marginalized, and to work actively for peace.

Domestic violence is not only a violation of human dignity but a profound injustice that we cannot ignore.

Presbyterians can and should be at the forefront of efforts to address this issue, both within our congregations and in the larger world of which we are members.

Break the silence

One of the most powerful tools against domestic violence is awareness.

Many victims suffer in silence, feeling shame, fear, or isolation.

By talking openly about domestic violence, churches can break the stigma that often surrounds it and create a safe space where victims feel empowered to come forward.

Elaine’s story is one that could be shared with communities to inspire others and foster a deeper understanding of the courage and resilience survivors possess. Sharing stories like hers can encourage empathy, educate members, and mobilize communities to take a stand.

Provide resources, support

Beyond raising awareness, we can provide resources and support to individuals affected by domestic violence. This can include partnering with local shelters, providing counseling services, or establishing support groups within the Presbyterian family.

By fostering a network of resources, we can help survivors rebuild their lives, find healing, and connect with professionals who can assist them in their journey to recovery.

In Elaine’s case, she had to go looking and thankfully found support systems that made a significant difference in her healing process. But people shouldn’t have to go searching for these themselves!

Advocate for policy, systemic change

Domestic violence is a social issue that demands more than grassroots support. Presbyterians can play a crucial role in advocating for policy changes at the local, state, and national levels.

This can involve supporting legislation that protects victims, funds shelters, or strengthens the legal response to domestic violence cases.

Literally call your state legislators and Congress members and ask them, “What have we done lately for domestic abuse victims?”

If they can’t answer that question, advocate for them to get a move on making changes!

Elaine’s story serves as a reminder that survivors deserve protection and that advocacy for policy reform is essential in creating a society where fewer people suffer the trauma of domestic violence.

Educate younger folks

It’s a tough thing to teach but educating children and young adults about healthy relationships—and sharing signs of abuse is essential for long-term change.

Churches can host workshops, classes, or youth group discussions that emphasize respect, empathy, and non-violence.

By instilling these values early, Presbyterians can contribute to a generation that rejects violence and embraces love, respect, and equality.

Let’s move this issue forward

Elaine’s story is one of pain but also of triumph and resilience. Her willingness to share her experience, like her appearance on a Maury Povich talk show, and through her book, God Wasn’t Ready for Me Yet, she is brave!

She sheds light on an issue that cannot remain in the shadows. We are called to embody the teachings of Christ by standing with the oppressed and advocating for justice.

Domestic violence is an issue that demands both compassion and action, and the Church has a powerful role to play in addressing it.

As Presbyterians, we have the opportunity—and responsibility—to advocate for victims of domestic violence, to create a community of support, and to work toward a future where violence no longer tears families apart. Inspired by Elaine and countless other survivors, let us move forward with determination, compassion, and faith that we can make a difference.

Let us be the voice that breaks the silence, the hands that offer support, and the advocates that help bring about meaningful change.