Overlooked gratitudes

A chalkboard at the George Floyd memorial in Minneapolis, Minn. shortly after his death—where I wrote, Aloha. Photo: Gerald Farinas.

I went out for a breath of fresh air on this cold Thanksgiving Eve in Evanston, Ill. when I stopped to watch and listen to a pair of crows perched above me, standing guard over the shorter trees and walking paths below.

“What are they thankful for,” I thought.

The things they are grateful for are most likely simpler things than the superficial lists we repeat each year around the holiday table.

We thank God for obvious things: family, food, health, and home.

While these are worth celebrating, imagine the many overlooked things we fail to remember.

Here are a couple on my mind at the moment:

Small everyday blessings

I work with older adults who suffer with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

Do not take for granted your ability to breathe, to walk, to see, and to hear—because one day, these will be challenged with age.

There was a moment in my life when I was technically homeless—living on the sofas of kind people like Martha Stocker. There are millions in America who are homeless in this sense—uncounted, invisible.

Homelessness makes you grateful for things like clean water to drink and to bathe yourself, clothes, and a place to rest your head each night.

One of my late friends once noted that my need to sleep with about ten pillows each night is likely a subconscious sign of how much I value the idea of having a place to sleep.

That late friend, Gavin, was someone who reminded me of things he missed as his cancer took away his sight and hearing.

Do not take for granted the beauty of creation—to see a sunrise, to hear birds and the rustle of leaves.

Answered prayers both big and small

In the toughest of times, I’ve prayed so hard I’ve cried myself to sleep. And then my prayers are seemingly answered in their own time.

Think of all the times you’ve forgotten about when you prayed—and your prayers were answered.

And then think about the unexpected blessings that arrived when you least expected them.

Unanswered prayers

While some of our prayers are left unanswered, there are times when better things happened instead.

Find gratefulness in those times when the Universe withheld something we wanted—wanting something in particular to happen—but later showed us a better plan.

I truly believe that sometimes, God has protected us from things we didn’t even realize could harm us.

Be thankful for those moments. And realize that it probably happens more than you think.

People in our lives

I happen to believe that no one I encounter is encountered without reason.

Even if it’s for the briefest moment, I believe people enter my space for some purpose I most likely will never know.

Be thankful for the friends and loved ones, past and present, who have impacted you.

Be thankful for the people who are nameless and faceless but for some reason enriched your life somehow, someway.

Be thankful for the strangers who offered help, encouragement, or guidance along the way.

The gifts of grace and redemption

I am in no way an exemplary man. I have my vices, failures that affected other people poorly.

But for grace, many people I offended or wronged forgave me.

Be grateful for moments where you received forgiveness. Because God knows: forgiveness is one of the hardest things another person will freely give.

Be grateful for the constant presence of certain people, even when you fall short. Because God knows: people can easily just walk out and leave us.

Everyday miracles

Just as forgiveness is a miracle to me, there are other miracles we fail to acknowledge or intentionally consider.

Have you considered the intricacies of the human body and mind?

Have you considered how nature sustains itself—seasons, weather, and growth?

Have you considered the coincidences that happen from time to time?

Be grateful for those things.

Opportunities to start again

Also a miracle: those moments that set into motion opportunities to start all over again.

For example, I never intended to end up working with older people, teaching dementia best practices to nurses and other healthcare professionals. It took failure—and a friend who opened the door to a new idea—that brought me where I am today, 20 years in my social services career.

Be grateful for chances to grow, rebuild relationships, pursue dreams you never originally considered.

Don’t wait for holidays for gratefulness

Thanksgiving is an opportunity to shift our focus from what we lack to truly abundant blessings—many of which we overlook.

Taking time to reflect on these can lead to a deeper sense of thanksgiving and a more profound connection with our Universe, our Creator.

Do not wait for holidays to consider these things. Be intentional in giving thanks for these things as often as possible.